Halloween

Halloween, the age old holiday born from the ancient traditions of celebrating the fall harvest, dead ancestors and spiritual allegory to the coming of winter and death.

or

Halloween, the noveau Americanized holiday celebrating.....well....candy? 

Somewhere in the last century in America, Halloween has lost its way.  Sure there are still remnants of this ancient celebration.  People dress up as ghosts, ghouls and goblins as they did in centuries past when it was thought that the time around the 1st of November was when the spirits of the dead were especially active.  The pumpkin is still a symbol of the fall harvest.  People still bob for apples which probably evolved from the Roman celebration of Pomona the goddess of fruits and trees.  The Catholics eventually entered the picture and as they always did they combined a Catholic holiday with a pagan celebration to make it, less pagan and acceptable.  The founders and perpetuators of Catholicism were no dummies.  Why butt your head against the cathedral wall.  Let the pagans have their holiday and call it something else.  So All Saints Day was born also known as All Hallows on November 1st.  The day preceding this, October 31 was the traditional fall festival for the "barbarians" of northern Europe and thus became known as All Hallows Eve, eventually condensed to Halloween.

"That's great", you say.  "Thanks for the history lesson."  You're welcome.  I personally find it fascinating how things humanly evolve.  But I digress.

I was speaking of the modern Halloween.  The candy companies' "Golden Chocolate Calf"  as it were.  Don't get me wrong, nobody stuffs as many Snickers bars down their gullets as I.  But candy aside, my favorite part of Halloween is the costumes and no offense to the kiddies, the adult costumes are far more interesting.  Not only do I love the costumes, it's the associated behavior that the costumes promote that I love. 

Idiot License

What other day of the year is it perfectly socially acceptable to dress and act like a complete jackass?  Add alcohol into the mix and it's a recipe for awesomeness.

Release Your Inner Slut

This is by far my favorite part of the modern Halloween phenomenon.  I'm sure having women dress up as slutty nurses, witches, pirates, policewomen, devils, vampires and the like is not exactly what Church leaders and Druid priests had in mind but I say thank God for modern progress.  Keep the costumes coming ladies.(My wife has informed that this sentence makes me sound like a pig and my response is that I’m not the one dressed up as a hooker with their tits hanging out.  Touché Wife!)  I can't tell you how many times on Halloween I've come across a formerly and seemingly demure female friend, neighbor, colleague or acquaintance dressed as something that seemed more at home on the cover of an adult video.  And if the costume wearer happens to lean a little toward the freak-flying-flag type, look the hell out and for heaven's sake, make sure your camera battery is full.

So here's to Halloween and if you happen to be roaming the streets of Denver on Saturday night, look for me flaunting my Idiot License with gusto.  I'll be the guy in the Rex Kwan Do outfit.  See below, I'm also a sucker for an esoteric, lightly referenced character.  And no I'm not Captain America, as I was repeatedly called last time I wore this costume.  "BOW TO YOU SENSEI!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hh10UVpfpy0

Why A Blog

Why a Blog?

First order of business is a legal disclaimer.  The name of my blog has been lifted from a lyric of a certain song.  The songwriter of this particular song has been known to show extreme dissatisfaction with those who lift from him without giving him credit.  It is from a brilliant little diddy that goes something like this...."With a leap of faith, or a jump of stupid.  Either way, don't know what I'm doing."  No one can turn a phrase like Paul Westerberg.  It comes from a song called "Footsteps".  Paul Westerberg is an amazing songwriter and someone that has cast a large shadow upon my life.  He is simply put, a poet.  I'm sure Mr. Westerberg will come up often in this blog.  Thank you Paul, and full credit to you my friend.





For years I have been told by family members and friends, "You should write a blog." or "Why don't you write a blog?"  My knee-jerk reaction to the latter, which I keep under my breath is, "Because I'm not a narcissistic douchebag".  But more diplomatically, I simply smile and say, "Maybe I will someday".

Someday has become today.

I finished a novel approximately six months ago.  As I have worked to get it published, I have discovered some interesting truths about the publishing industry.  One is that a writer inevitably needs a literary agent.  The odds of your work getting a publisher's attention are slim to none without said literary agent and indeed, most will not even consider your work unless it is presented by a literary agent.  Two is that these literary agents seem to fall all over themselves if you have won some sort of contest, award or author a popular blog.

So it is clear and shameless self promotion on my part.  In the fantasy version of my life, this blog will be so good that it will develop a massive, cult following and the literary world will come break down my door to get a version of "The Great American Novel", which I, no doubt have penned.

Also, it's good therapy.  There's nothing like a good rant to cleanse the soul.  Happy reading and thank you for taking the jump of stupid with me. 

Ray 

Ps…. If you happen to be a literary agent or know a literary agent, contact me immediately.  My novel is eager and awaiting the right agent to nurture and sell it.