Halloween

Halloween, the age old holiday born from the ancient traditions of celebrating the fall harvest, dead ancestors and spiritual allegory to the coming of winter and death.

or

Halloween, the noveau Americanized holiday celebrating.....well....candy? 

Somewhere in the last century in America, Halloween has lost its way.  Sure there are still remnants of this ancient celebration.  People dress up as ghosts, ghouls and goblins as they did in centuries past when it was thought that the time around the 1st of November was when the spirits of the dead were especially active.  The pumpkin is still a symbol of the fall harvest.  People still bob for apples which probably evolved from the Roman celebration of Pomona the goddess of fruits and trees.  The Catholics eventually entered the picture and as they always did they combined a Catholic holiday with a pagan celebration to make it, less pagan and acceptable.  The founders and perpetuators of Catholicism were no dummies.  Why butt your head against the cathedral wall.  Let the pagans have their holiday and call it something else.  So All Saints Day was born also known as All Hallows on November 1st.  The day preceding this, October 31 was the traditional fall festival for the "barbarians" of northern Europe and thus became known as All Hallows Eve, eventually condensed to Halloween.

"That's great", you say.  "Thanks for the history lesson."  You're welcome.  I personally find it fascinating how things humanly evolve.  But I digress.

I was speaking of the modern Halloween.  The candy companies' "Golden Chocolate Calf"  as it were.  Don't get me wrong, nobody stuffs as many Snickers bars down their gullets as I.  But candy aside, my favorite part of Halloween is the costumes and no offense to the kiddies, the adult costumes are far more interesting.  Not only do I love the costumes, it's the associated behavior that the costumes promote that I love. 

Idiot License

What other day of the year is it perfectly socially acceptable to dress and act like a complete jackass?  Add alcohol into the mix and it's a recipe for awesomeness.

Release Your Inner Slut

This is by far my favorite part of the modern Halloween phenomenon.  I'm sure having women dress up as slutty nurses, witches, pirates, policewomen, devils, vampires and the like is not exactly what Church leaders and Druid priests had in mind but I say thank God for modern progress.  Keep the costumes coming ladies.(My wife has informed that this sentence makes me sound like a pig and my response is that I’m not the one dressed up as a hooker with their tits hanging out.  Touché Wife!)  I can't tell you how many times on Halloween I've come across a formerly and seemingly demure female friend, neighbor, colleague or acquaintance dressed as something that seemed more at home on the cover of an adult video.  And if the costume wearer happens to lean a little toward the freak-flying-flag type, look the hell out and for heaven's sake, make sure your camera battery is full.

So here's to Halloween and if you happen to be roaming the streets of Denver on Saturday night, look for me flaunting my Idiot License with gusto.  I'll be the guy in the Rex Kwan Do outfit.  See below, I'm also a sucker for an esoteric, lightly referenced character.  And no I'm not Captain America, as I was repeatedly called last time I wore this costume.  "BOW TO YOU SENSEI!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hh10UVpfpy0